Wednesday, January 18, 2012

New Year New Focus

I've enjoyed my blog ... truly I have.  It started out as a therapy session for myself since those $90/visit costs were racking up and I had ran out of money a long time ago.  I've enjoyed the comments and that "atta girls" that readers have left for me on the blog and Twitter.  It has been quite therapeutic and affirming.  I have been amazed at the number of people who have shared with me how much they appreciated my honesty and openness.  I truly had no idea the mess that has been my life would be so helpful to others.   I'm going to continue writing as "the mood hits" although secretly I wish I could write as well as Michele Grant ... her Black 'N Bougie blog is can't miss interwebs for me.  But that's okay -- Michele is Michele and I'm me.   When I read other blogs that I find totally awesome, I'm able to appreciate the writers' talent and strive to be better without thinking of myself as a total loser.  That's a huge step for me as I used to always feel if I couldn't "measure up" to what I consider gold standards I would just quit.

I say all of that to say, I'm going to continue to use my little spot of the interwebs to help me avoid racking up therapy bills and to finally come to total acceptance of all that is me.  Warts and all.  If my drama helps just one person look at their lives with a little deeper insight; helps them realize shiggity before shiggity hits the fan and that they can change the trajectory they're on, then I'll be okay with that.   I'm going to try to be a little more focused and disciplined but I won't even front and tell you I'll write something every day.  I'm not that disciplined ... yet.   

I hope you continue reading and if you don't mind, feel free to leave a comment or two.  I'm 50 now, have endured all kinds of drama the past year, and really at that stage in life when my attitude is more "what the hell" than it's ever been.  Stick around ... laugh with me, cry with me, and hopefully grow with me.

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